Are stay-at-home girlfriends 'having a moment'?
Or have certain men just always wanted mommy maids? Plus: the rise of polyamory, Pedro Pascal's 'bedroom voice,' calling your reps, and more in the weekend roundup.
Stay-at-home girlfriends are “having a moment,” according to a recent trend piece in The Wall Street Journal. The (slim) evidence: some TikTok lifestyle videos in which women document their devotion to supporting their boyfriends “with tasks like cooking and housework,” alongside a “rigorous care regimen to keep up appearances.”
It’s trad wives without the wife part.
Stay-at-home girlfriends, or SAHGs, are certainly a grabby topic for a seemingly timely trend piece, but I’m afraid it all feels quite old. “Often, the boyfriends themselves are the ones to propose these arrangements,” says the WSJ. “They’re working a lot, or traveling a lot, and want extra support at home.” It seems this “support” often requires women to quit their jobs and move out of their own apartments.
In other words: These men want maids. These men want mommies. These men want maids and mommies who they can fuck, and who are entirely dependent on them. The piece interviews a self-described “alpha male” who is “always working, always grinding.” He convinced his girlfriend to quit her job and become a SAHG. As he put it, “I think it’s important to have someone in your corner.” How many heterosexual men across history have rationalized a woman shrinking her own ambitions, power, and autonomy in favor of supporting his own?
A timeless phenomenon, I would say.
To the links, already
Women are stockpiling abortion pills.
The macho future of the tech industry. (Fleh.) “The people I know are thinking about testosterone and eating 500 grams of protein a day. They are ravenous, carnivorous, and totally yoked.”
During covid quarantine with my kid, we watched eight Disney movies over the course of a week and now I desperately want to talk to someone, anyone about Turning Red, which came out last year. It’s about puberty, crushes, boy bands, adolescent girl desire, maternal anxiety, and generational trauma. It left me blubbering. “I’m OK,” I had to reassure my kid. “I’m just moved.”
In the midst of the aforementioned quarantine, thanks to being driven in desperation to a Disney+ subscription, I started watching The Mandalorian. I wanted to answer a vital question: Is it worth watching this TV show just for the occasional moments when Pedro Pascal uses his “bedroom voice” from behind that ridiculous silver helmet? Yes.
Somewhat relatedly, thank you, Calvin Klein.
From this New Yorker feature on the cultural rise of polyamory: “A good love affair, when you’re inside it, feels like it could change the world. But changing the world takes more than spreading the love; you have to spread the wealth, too. Maybe that’s just utopian, hippie nonsense. But what can I say? I’m a romantic.”
Katherine J. Wu on the endlessly fascinating phenomenon of microchimerism, where cells migrate between a fetus and pregnant person:
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