I was on NPR’s 1A this morning talking with Jenn White about my memoir My Mother’s Daughter: Finding Myself in My Family’s Fractured Past alongside my sister Kathy. It was our first interview together and it was so very nice to share the mic.
It’s inevitable in this kind of ongoing interview blitz to get a little tired of your own voice. I’ve noticed, too, how I’ve boiled down my family’s story to a few key scenes and talking points. It’s the sales pitch for the book, the CliffsNotes version, which is quite different from the depth and texture of the book itself.
I have been joking with friends over the last weeks about the still-TBD emotional impact of repeatedly telling the CliffsNotes version of this story—and necessarily with some remove and matter-of-factness. I’ll let you know where that lands! At the moment, I am mostly feeling like my body is rebelling against the mental and physical load of the last month. I’ve got a crazy hacking cough that is making sleep, and radio interviews, difficult.
Go beyond the CliffsNotes! My Mother’s Daughter: Finding Myself in My Family’s Fractured Past is available to buy now.
New York Times bestselling author Rebecca Traister says: “What a beautiful, immersive book. My Mother's Daughter isn't a mystery, but it reads a little like one, as Tracy Clark-Flory deftly peels back layer after layer of her own family's story, laying bare much about this country's history, as well as its relationship to sex, shame, women, race, and the durability of love itself. I cried!”
Grab it from your favorite local bookstore or tap the button below to order online.
I am so happy to report that I did not have a coughing fit live on-air. Kathy and I talked about finding each other through a DNA test and coming to understand our mom’s story of being sent away to a home for unwed mothers in the sixties when she was pregnant with Kathy. There were lots of listener stories about adoption, family secrets, and DNA-test surprises. The one that really got me was from a woman with a story similar to mine, only she hasn’t yet found her sister. She said our story had given her hope.
These are the kinds of interactions that really make publishing a book feel less like a professional than spiritual project. I’m feeling that deeply having just started taking on private writing clients for memoir-related coaching. A memoir often tells a story of transformation, but so much of the transformation takes place in the writing. We write to understand ourselves and we are changed in the process. In sharing our understanding, we change others, even in small ways.
Anyway, the 1A interview was rich and deep—not rote at all—and you should definitely give a listen.
I’m also on Virginia Sole-Smith’s excellent Burnt Toast podcast talking about sex, shame, race, and more. My dear friend Courtney Martin interviewed me for The Examined Family and asked such great questions, including about Jung’s idea that “the greatest burden a child can bear is the unlived life of their parents.” As I told Courtney: “My addendum to Jung—if I may!—is that the unlived life of your parents loosens its grip when you are able to see, name, and understand it.” Again, this is often part of the project of writing memoir, which is why I’m working on a virtual class on self-discovery through memoir (more on that soon).
I had a great Substack Live with the brilliant Soraya Chemaly talking about the book, which you can watch above. I’m on the Eat My Words podcast having a wide-ranging chat with Johanna Almstead about my book, yes, but also: sex writing, reporting on porn, “inappropriate” femininity, being a “woman who wants,” and mother-daughter inheritances. And, lastly, the latest episode of Dire Straights asks: “Are feminists ‘anti-family’?” It’s our final episode of season one—we’ve been publishing episodes twice a month for the past year—and now we’re diving into production on season two, which is coming later this summer.
On that note, I’m gonna go crawl into bed for a nap! Thanks for being here.
